Lesson One: It’s about the marathon, not the race.
I remember being in high school and how I felt when many of my friends graduated high school before I did. I felt so left out. I watched them all walk across the stage as I sat in the stands. I remember thinking that somehow because I was not at the exact point in life as my peers I had fallen behind and failed. I anticipated watching all of my friends graduate college before me and become wildly successful as I stumbled. One of the biggest lessons I learned was that it seriously does not matter what age or point in your life you reach certain “milestones”.
This is because everyone develops at their own pace. Not everyone’s version of success is the same. One of my friends who graduated high school before me decided she wanted to go to cosmetology school and become a hairstylist. Another friend decided she wanted to work in the food and beverage industry as a waitress. Another friend wanted to go to community college, but only took a few classes at a time. I am now a few days away from graduating with a Bachelor’s in Journalism.
All paths were different and we each are running our own personal marathon. It’s not about who races to success the fastest because we define success in our own personal interests and goals. Take the right path for yourself and don’t worry if it doesn’t look exactly like those closest to you.
Lesson Two: The comparison game is a losing game.
With social media, it’s so easy to look at someone’s life through the lens on their perfectly curated Instagram and think – wow their life is perfect. Even if we know that could not be the case, no one’s life could possibly be perfect, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of comparison. It’s easy to think that someone else is living the life you want to live.
I remember when I studied abroad in Italy, I’d post little moments walking around Florence. All my friends back in the U.S. would say how I’m living my best life. There were times where I’d post something and think – wow I’m on the other end of this now – people are comparing their lives to mine and I feel the exact same. Not to say I did not enjoy Florence, I 100% did. However, social media didn’t capture the days that I felt overwhelmed or struggled with mental health. Social media didn’t capture the schoolwork and assignments and stress that I carry with me.
Social media didn’t capture the imperfect. One of the biggest takeaways I got from going so far away from home was the fact that no matter where you go, life will have ups and downs. Focus on competing with yourself and even a version of yourself in the past. Think of how far she has come and give yourself credit.
Lesson Three: Life doesn’t suddenly fall into place after your 20s are over.
I used to think that when I was a teenager, and even at 20, that somehow when you turn 30 everything becomes crystal clear. Maybe the government even issues you a spouse, an amazing career, and a beautiful home. Okay, maybe not that last part, but here’s to wishful thinking.
After speaking with multiple people in their thirties, I realized the choices they made over the past ten years affected how their life was now. Of course, it’s never too late to change your career path among many other things.
However, life does not suddenly become figured out and predictable. Bad things can happen such as loss of a job or someone becoming ill in your family. On the positive end of the spectrum, you could land your dream job and must move across the country. No matter what decade you’re in, the road of life is changing, and it doesn’t stop after your 20s even if your brain is now fully developed. This shouldn’t be frightening! Part of the excitement of life is that change, and growth are always possible!
Lesson Four: Ask people for advice and actually listen.
One of the most memorable pieces of advice was from my advisor. It was sophomore year, and I was struggling through a variety of challenging circumstances. I told her how I felt like I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel and was too overwhelmed. I had no idea how I could possibly attend another two years of college. It felt that the circumstances in my life dictated my every emotion.
I wanted to overcome those emotions, but all that floated throughout my head were lingering assignments and deadlines. During an advising meeting towards the end of my sophomore year, my advisor said something that has stuck with me even as a write this two weeks before graduation. “Yes, you want to graduate and get that degree. But you have to remember to take care of the person that’s going to walk across that stage holding the degree.”
Lesson Five: Enjoy the journey.
If you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed or maybe even feel like giving up – take a moment to close your eyes. Think about why you started this journey in the first place. What did you want to accomplish and what were the reasons behind that? What were you afraid of? What challenges have you persisted through and overcame in hopes to reach your goals?
The destination may be long-awaited and even seem impossible to reach, but if you think about it – the path you took to get there prepared you for success at the end of it. Without the effort and struggles to reach your goal, you wouldn’t be able to fully appreciate the end of the journey. Besides, when one journey ends, the next one begins.